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English Board => Speak English here! => Wątek zaczęty przez: Jaras w 2002-11-15 23:51:15

Tytuł: Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: Jaras w 2002-11-15 23:51:15
Carlos says to his boss,"Ay, boss, I nota come
work today, I really sick. I gota headache, stomach
ache and my legs hurt, I nota come work."

The boss says, "You know Carlos, I really need
you today. When I feel like that, I go to my wife
and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel
better and I can go to work. You should try that."
Two hours later Carlos calls: "Boss, I dida what you
said and I feel great, I be at work soon.
You gota nice house."

-----

A priest and an Australian shepherd met each other in the final of a quiz
show. After answering all the normal questions, they were neck-and-neck with
the same number of points and the quizmaster had to set a deciding question.
The question was, to compose a rhyme in 5 minutes including the word "Timbuktu".

After 5 minutes, the priest presented his poem :
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu..."

The audience was thrilled and celebrated the churchman as the certain
winner. However, the Aussi stepped forward and recited:

"When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
we met three ladies cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
so I booked one and Tim booked two...

-----

Gun Shop Owner: Hi, How can I help you?
Client: I am looking for a gun.
Owner: What kind of gun are you looking for?
Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): That one looks
about right.
Owner: (very surprised): Why do you need a .44 magnum?
Client: It is for shooting at cans.
Owner: (pointing at a small handgun) Well, this is the perfect size for
shooting at cans.
Client: (pointing again at the .44) Nah, I need this one.
Owner: OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?
Client: Mexi-cans... Puerto Ri-cans... Afri-cans...

-----

There are at least SEVEN types of ORGASM of a WOMAN:

1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes..................
2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No....................
3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No....
4. The Traveler - Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming..............
5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God........
6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More...............
7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you take it out, I'll kill you....

Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: Doman w 2002-11-19 21:05:08
-Oh doctor, I have 30 seconds of life left.
-Just a minute.
Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: Greybrow w 2002-11-20 20:01:30
Edyp is meeting Syzyf:
- Hi, rolling stone!
- Yo, motherfucker!
Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: Greybrow w 2002-12-02 14:22:50
http://www.rodneycarrington.com/dearpenis.htm
Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: [VT] Patrys w 2002-12-09 09:48:39
Little birdy in the sky
dropped a poopy in my eye,
I'm not angry, I don't cry,
I'm just happy cows don't fly
Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: Biernath_John w 2002-12-26 10:57:57
(http://republika.pl/ulvhockey/pics/likwibj.JPG)
wooow

(posted by ulv)
Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: zap w 2003-01-04 12:17:06
Common shortnames and what they really mean:
PHP: Pornographic Home Pages
WWW: World Wide Warez
JPG: Joint,Porn and Grass
ASP: Anonymous Stripping Persons
GIF: Gay Icon Fanatics
Tytuł: Re:Funny zone
Wiadomość wysłana przez: Doman w 2003-04-01 20:36:04
From walls:

'Eat bean, America needs gas'
'You're never alone with shisophrenia'